Speechless

I am just sitting here. The air is going of course with another 100 degree day outside, day 28 or so I think. All is quiet though. Schoolwork is pretty much done, just finished a book today, probably start another on Monday, but here we are in the “in between” time. 

In between. The waiting time. In between jobs, churches, and a lot of other things. Waiting time in my life. Not a bad time. TIme of learning, time of patience, time of even a little rest. Time of preparation for next step, time of mental preparation, time of spiritual preparation, the waiting time.

Some people do well in this time. Some people not so much. Some ask what’s going on, some sit back for a bit and then are busy preparing, some are so lost they don’t know what to do or think, the waiting time. Some have to have a reason to move on, some say its not time yet, some say you have to take the first step, the waiting time. Do I stay, do I go, what more preparations do I have, do I rest and miss something, its the waiting time. The walls start closing in , the boredom sets in because the waiting is longer then expected, the waiting room. 

We have all been there for times in lives. We have had reached a waiting period where things don’t do anything, we just wait. The things behind are done, the things ahead are not ready for us yet, so we wait. We sit and wait, we pray and wait, we stand and wait, we wait, its a waiting time. Its a renewing time, this waiting time. A time to clear your mind and prepare for the future. It’s a time to wait. 

My theme song

I found a song that really describes me and have made it my “Theme Song”. Undo by Rush of Fools

 

“Undo”

I’ve been here before
Now, here I am again
Standing at the door
Praying You’ll let me back in

To label me
A prodigal would be
Only scratching the surface
Of who I’ve been known to be

Turn me around, pick me up
Undo what I’ve become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, I need Your help
I can’t do this myself
You’re the only one
Who can undo what I’ve become

I focused on the score
But I could never win
Trying to ignore
A life of hiding my sin

To label me
A hypocrite would be
Only scratching the surface
Of who I’ve been known to be

Turn me around, pick me up
Undo what I’ve become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, I need Your help
I can’t do this myself
You’re the only one
Who can undo what I’ve become

Make every step lead me back to
The sovereign way that You

Turn me around, pick me up
Undo what I’ve become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, I need Your help
I can’t do this myself
You’re the only one who can undo
You are the only one who can undo
You’re the only one who can undo
What I’ve become

Getting better

I started a composition class this week for school and as I am reading through the material I had to laugh a little. It is going through some misconceptions people have when they enter a writing class such as; good writers are born not mad, i am hopeless, ill never write well, writing is easy for some and difficult for others, and afraid to put thoughts on paper. It all boils down to one thing, fear of the unknown. If we are scared to try knew things or learn how to do new things, we are never going to better ourselves. 

Fear will hold you back from getting a lot accomplished. Fear of college held me back for quite a few years and I am now in school going after my bachelors degree as well as planning on going into my masters. I received a book a few years ago from a friend that was also a college professor. “Oh the places you’ll go” by Dr. Suess. Ya I know, but find it and read it, it will open your eyes. My professor did to. She has her own business, has wrote a book, hosts a television show, received her doctorate degree all before the age of 35. Not bad, Doc, not bad.

I finally came to realize if she could do it, why can’t I? What make her so special she can get her dreams and I can’t get mine? Henry Ford said, “If you think you can do it, or you think you can’t do it, your right.” Well, I woke up and realized I can do it. I have the ability, I am not going to fail, I am going to succeed and nothing is going to hold me back, no one is getting my way. 

Set a goal for yourself and go after it. Set educational goals, financial goals, mental goals. Life may get in the way sometimes, but go after what you want and don’t ever let anyone stop you. If you are 10 or 50, go after it. Go on…

Mid Summer

Its mid summer here in North Texas. Hot, dry, summer. It’s alright though, we come to expect it no matter what part of the country we live in. Used to this being the wet season in Florida, but its dry season here in Texas. Kinda where I am with life right now. Bit of a dry season going on, not spiritually, but in a lot of other areas. Actually growing spiritually, getting stronger, faith muscles getting a workout. Spent a lot of time in the Word and prayer recently. 

Read Daniel today. A book I have read over and over again, know the stories well. Then I saw something that popped out at me. Chapter 3:29 Therefore I make a decree, that every people, nation, and language, which speak anything amiss against the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego, shall be cut in pieces, and their houses shall be made a dunghill: because there is no other God that can deliver after this sort. He is right. There is no God that can deliver like the Almighty. 

Be encouraged today, no there is god like THE God, no one can deliver but him. Its not that you get pulled out of something because a letter is never delivered until it arrives at its destination. You are going to be taken out of one thing and delivered to your destination as well.

New York Ruling

I was disappointed again with our government. This time New York. Contrary to popular belief the foundation of the United States was built on the Bible. There is no division of church and state in the constitution. We have become a very tolerate society for minorities. Three facts we need to get straight, great, onward. 

Leviticus 18:22 states ” You shall not lie with a male as with a woman, it is an abomination.” NKJV respectively. The reason is because two women or two men are unable to reproduce, which is part of the original plan many years ago in Genesis. Plain and simple it is, yet because a small portion of our country has decided to put up a big enough fight on things, we thought wow, we must have to give in because of…what? Trendy? Political Correctness? Don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings? Really? Less than 20% of our population is part of the gay community. Where is the 80% of America? We are quick to judge others from another country if they do not like the way we do things here or speak our language they are more than encouraged to leave and yet we treat this minority like a majority vote because they have a few that make a lot of noise.

My other question would be, where is the church? Melissa Etheridge has said she will fight for gay rights until the day she dies and yet the church is still on its blessed assurance and not getting up to do anything. Why haven’t our leaders of this nation held a press conference like their counter parts and said we will fight with all we are worth to see things like this do not go thru. I am not saying we have to go and protest every time something is getting voted on. Have we wrote our Congressmen( and I mean both men and women here, please no ugly emails about this) in our districts and told them how we feel about it?

We need to start growing a back bone and stand up for what we believe in like the world is. There is no way we are going to make a difference if we don’t.

Moving Forward

There comes a time when  you have to say, I have had enough of this spot and move forward. It never ceases to amaze me the people complaining about where they are and never desire to move. One of my favorite pastors said, The proof of desire is in the pursuit. If you want to learn a musical instrument stop saying you want to learn it and start taking lessons and learn it. Practice day in and day out to become good at it and be able to play that instrument well with all that is within you. 

I have reached a moving forward time in my life recently and have made a few decisions. I am dedicating the next ten years of my life to education, both secular and in the Word. I have began to take some online classes in order to finish my bachelors degree and will be going right on to my Masters of Public Administration. Hosea says my people perish for lack of knowledge, well, it isn’t going to be this guy. I have had an incredible desire to get into the Word again and a real hunger for the hidden things located within the whole book. Maybe a Ministry degree in my future?

I am also making myself available once again to speak at Mens groups, youth groups, whatever the occasion, I am ready to come in and give my testimony or a word God has for the season or the audience. I pray He will use me again as He has in times past.

Exciting times and looking forward to the future and where I am headed again. It has been a while since I have felt this renewed energy and hunger and can not wait to try and quench it with knowledge.

Just thinking

What a ride it has been the last few years for my wife and I. We have gone thru so much physically, financially, mentally. I have taken a few steps toward the light now and can just barely see it at the end of the proverbial tunnel, but more importantly, I know that it is there.

When I think back on things like the tent stake, I realize we went thru all of those things for a reason. Was it easy? absolutely not. Was it worth it to get to this point so much stronger than before? Oh yes. We have been taken care of the whole time even if it came down to the last second on things. We have had to give things up, sell belongings, and scrape everything together just to get a little something to eat at times. God placed the right people in our lives at the right times. Some are still there, some aren’t, and that’s okay too, it was all just part of the plan.

I would love to go back and change a lot of things now that I know what would happen, but would that really make me a better person? Would I be stronger now than before, probably not. I think I would feel like I cheated since I knew what was coming up.

” In all things give thanks, for this is the Will of God. ” Lord, thank you for not instructing me to give thanks FOR all things, just IN all things. I know I wasn’t always strong every single day, every minute, I know I made mistakes, but your forgiveness has also been there for me. Thank you for never leaving me or forsaking me in those tough times. I know you are leading me into my destiny and my future is with you.